I took a day off today because our nanny cancelled on us. This is the third time I have done this. The first two times were awful. Today has been exponential worse.
I was laying in bed, feeding the baby and being lazy. After she finished the seven ounce bottle, I put her on my thigh to burp her. She burped immediately and there was no associated puke. Awesome job dad! I then decided to transition the baby from a sideways “sitting on my thigh” position to a “sitting on my crotch leaning against my knees position”. This requires an overhead lift. (For mental imagery purposes, I was laying on my back and talking to the baby.) During the 1.2 second process, yeah. She puked into my eye, nose and mouth. Then she smiled. The combination of my shock and her smile led to a reaction from me identical to this: Scream
Some things you should know about having regurgitated synthetic breast milk vomited into your orifices: